Looking forward…

The purring of my computer coupled with the slow whirring of the blades of the ceiling fan hanging in my room are a surefire way to induce sleep. I sit among cardboard boxes, looking around at the upheaval in my living quarters, noting that moving is painful. Not in the emotional sense alone, but also in the physical sense as well – just really painful after bending over to fill up boxes, lifting, pushing, moving, taping, packing some more – very physically demanding and makes one appreciate the homeless, for having all their belongings in one shopping cart.

Speaking of homeless, I will be joining the nomadic masses of gypsies for the next six weeks, as we trek over the west and mid-west of this vast country. Okay, I take back trek, but travel. This vagabond life we are about to take in the near future has instigated the need to pack and store all of our belongings ( half of which I have managed to get rid of), and make this trip the summer of a lifetime.

My bookshelves stood tall and empty as the treasures they used to hold were categorically taken out and boxed up. And now even my bookshelves are stored away in a dark room, waiting for the day when they can once more breathe in some fresh air and have all their treasures returned to their rightful places. My love affair with books far exceeds any other crush or infatuation I have ever had. If I owned a plot of land with a big, beautiful tree, its branches reaching out to the sun, inviting kids to climb up, settle in and read, I would ask to be buried under this tree with all my books. But that just seems too selfish and others will not be able to enjoy and appreciate the books that I have read, so I most likely will donate mine to my posterity.

The table on which my laptop sits right now is cluttered – glass of water, a covered china serving dish, a bottle of supplements, Ziploc bags, books of course, a hat, an empty water bottle, etc. Reminders that my work is not done. Sorting out this clutter tomorrow is something I can put in the back of my mind for now.

On this warm, Indian summer day, I feel a nervous excitement – wondering what the next six weeks holds for us. I look forward to reuniting with dearest friends who hold pieces of my heart. I love that that extends to their children as well – I feel and connect to my friends’ children as closely as I connect with my friends – on a different level. I am looking forward to these moments of life where I realize that this is what living is all about – the complete adoration of an innocent child, the warm hug from little, chubby arms wrapped so tight around you to render you nearly breathless, the sweet, tight kiss you receive the minute you walk into the room.

I look forward to connecting with Nature – there is nothing like the beauty and power of nature that transcends all earthly distractions and take me close to the celestial dwellings of my Maker. As the innermost, dark, cobweb-filled recesses of my soul come out shyly at first and gaining speed, they step out to soak in the Sun and all of Nature’s glory. I look forward to retaining that memory for a long time to come.

I look forward to family – the joy of reuniting and the joy of creating a new family as a brother gets married, and another is about to dedicate two years of his life to serving the Lord. I look forward to the special love I feel when I see the family that had led me to my husband. I share a unique bond with each child in this family and I look forward with joy and anticipation to solidify those bonds again.

I look forward to new horizons – where I explore my surroundings and take in all the beauty around me, the history of the church, the story of the pioneers now made real, the feeling of the faith of a people that led to a worldwide movement, sweeping the nations, nothing withstanding.

I look forward to discovery, nature, family, new horizons and promises of a grand future, filled with opportunity and blissful meanderings to find life and its meanings and how they apply to me in this day.

I am grateful for all that my life has been up to this point and I am so grateful for the ability to look forward – with faith, with hope and with a complete assurance of new experiences.

I love looking forward.