“Open what?”, you ask. After turning on the TV the other day for about 45 minutes, it felt like it was “Open my brain and shove some rotten, smelly garbage in it”. Most of us can agree that these days there is hardly anything worthwhile to watch on TV, including cable (which is why I don’t have cable and I don’t miss it.)
So the title for the blog came from the title of a book that was being showcased on Tyra Banks’ talk show. Yes, I know…sometimes I wonder too who allowed her to have a talk show in the first place or be the winner of the most outstanding informative talk show Emmy. But there are other times when I do believe she addresses some serious issues in the American society and this happened to be one of them.
So, Open…the book and the interesting guests on this show, openly (pardon the pun) discussed open relationships and open marriages. The show I am guessing started off with a simple, married couple and by the time I turned on the TV had accumulated a couple of other partners, a couple who had tried an open relationship and decided not to do it and a couple who were contemplating it and brought a friend on national TV to ask her to be part of their open relationship…
WHAT???
This is how Wikipedia defines it:
An open relationship denotes a relationship (often between two people) in which the participants are free to have sexual intercourse with other partners. If the couple making this agreement are married, it is an open marriage.
What was really strange about this was that they had children and seemed to think that this was not going to affect them at all. They seemed very jaded as to what the kids would and would not find as strange. What is happening to this world? What is happening to America? Does having freedom of speech and press and expression and worship cross any cultural and societal and fundamental rules as human beings?
I watched in disbelief, although I should know by now that America really does not protect their children mentally because this is so accessible (Daytime TV – remember I do not have cable) and so in-your-face and that in turn causes all the confusion of gender, identity and eventually, the waters get really murky as to what is marriage, what is sexual identity, what is life. If I were put myself in the place of a child, what would I think of this turn of events in life, where I have one father and one mother who love each other, but they also have other “friends” whom they love sexually and emotionally and they are one big happy family?
Choice is such a delicate thing.. we respect and tolerate each individual’s choice. Then tell me this: why is it that we prosecute and put in prison someone who has exercised their choice to kill another human being? Because it goes against the rules – because it is an obvious violation of a life and we have no right to do that?
How then does it not occur to us that sometimes the choices that we make that may not be so blatant or severe in its outcome, devastates our children, our lives, our community, our country and our world? Why are we not being prosecuted for those choices that allow us to confuse, mislead or justify our actions where the effects are long term? Is it ok then for us to tell our children and each other that we are in effect “Killing” the institution of traditional marriage in order to create something new that accommodates our desires – whether they be emotional or sexual? Is that kind of killing punishable by law and does it not violate any rules?
How OPEN are you to a life that blurs the definitions of marriage and how OPEN would you like your children to be in the future?
Darling Sarah, Yes I have missed your opinions!!! Thank you for the "comment" hehehe….That is exactly what I wanted to hear..people standing up and speaking out. I fully agree with you and did on purpose only elude to choice to see if any one understood what it meant to them or how they would use it. This blog was more to welcome some open discussion about the subject as I was really curious how parents would teach their children about all these things happening around them.
Sounds like you have it figured out. But that doesn't surprise me 🙂
You are a strong woman and I am so glad you are back in my cyber life…YAY!!!!
Darling Sarah, Yes I have missed your opinions!!! Thank you for the "comment" hehehe….That is exactly what I wanted to hear..people standing up and speaking out. I fully agree with you and did on purpose only elude to choice to see if any one understood what it meant to them or how they would use it. This blog was more to welcome some open discussion about the subject as I was really curious how parents would teach their children about all these things happening around them.
Sounds like you have it figured out. But that doesn't surprise me 🙂
You are a strong woman and I am so glad you are back in my cyber life…YAY!!!!
Well, see you are taking out the finest point of your argument… the CHOICE. We as parents can CHOOSE what we do and do not subject our children to, like for instance; Do I want my child to be subject to the ways of the world at 2? No. But, that is my choice as a parent and not just my choice, but also my responsibility. They (children) don't have the awareness or wisdom to know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. Its our job as PARENTS to teach them that difference and we will in turn be held accountable for those teachings, or those choices that we make on their behalf. Now, I'm not saying that I want my kid to grow up in a bubble, but I want to have control over what I allow into our home. Once the child grows old enough and has the ability to make those kinds of choices and/or is an adult we no longer hold that weight of responsibility, but it doesn't remove the responsibility completely from us as parents either.
Whether you have an "open relationship" or not are just other choice that you inflict or subject or even thrust upon a child that doesn't have the capacity to understand. Now, it isn't to say that all children that grow up in that kind of a home end up making the same kinds of choices their parents did. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home, but am trying to make the best of what I was given and NOT carry the bad over to my child… will it work? Time will tell. All you can do is your best with your children and let God sort the rest out. BUT, if we take away key learning opportunities from our children WE as parents have that much more to answer for in the end.
Now as far as comparing raising a child poorly to murdering someone… I think that is a little jaded in itself. Murder is the harshest sin because you take the choice away from the victim. It's not to say that subjecting a child to alternative lifestyles isn't damaging, but that child still has the right to choose. Maybe their choices will be more difficult than others, but the choice is still there. Even molestation isn't as bad as murder again, because of the choice. The child can choose to forgive the predator and move on with their life. When you're dead, you don't have that option.
This is just my opinion and you know me and opinions… have you missed them? I'll bet you have! 🙂
Well, see you are taking out the finest point of your argument… the CHOICE. We as parents can CHOOSE what we do and do not subject our children to, like for instance; Do I want my child to be subject to the ways of the world at 2? No. But, that is my choice as a parent and not just my choice, but also my responsibility. They (children) don't have the awareness or wisdom to know the difference between what is right and what is wrong. Its our job as PARENTS to teach them that difference and we will in turn be held accountable for those teachings, or those choices that we make on their behalf. Now, I'm not saying that I want my kid to grow up in a bubble, but I want to have control over what I allow into our home. Once the child grows old enough and has the ability to make those kinds of choices and/or is an adult we no longer hold that weight of responsibility, but it doesn't remove the responsibility completely from us as parents either.
Whether you have an "open relationship" or not are just other choice that you inflict or subject or even thrust upon a child that doesn't have the capacity to understand. Now, it isn't to say that all children that grow up in that kind of a home end up making the same kinds of choices their parents did. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home, but am trying to make the best of what I was given and NOT carry the bad over to my child… will it work? Time will tell. All you can do is your best with your children and let God sort the rest out. BUT, if we take away key learning opportunities from our children WE as parents have that much more to answer for in the end.
Now as far as comparing raising a child poorly to murdering someone… I think that is a little jaded in itself. Murder is the harshest sin because you take the choice away from the victim. It's not to say that subjecting a child to alternative lifestyles isn't damaging, but that child still has the right to choose. Maybe their choices will be more difficult than others, but the choice is still there. Even molestation isn't as bad as murder again, because of the choice. The child can choose to forgive the predator and move on with their life. When you're dead, you don't have that option.
This is just my opinion and you know me and opinions… have you missed them? I'll bet you have! 🙂